I Hope Your Virtual Reality Company Fails.

I’m not an expert. I don’t build apps.. I don’t know how to code. In fact I can barely tell a good story...but I’m a fashion designer. We don’t know much, but we know culture.

Technology companies run by Generation X have even less idea about the future than the Millennials.

I once had a meeting with a company that was looking to hire a few fashion designers for another company looking to expand. When I came to the meeting, no one was there. I brought what I usually carry. A note pad, a pen, my note 5, my Gear VR headset, a fleecer scarf, a fleecer suit prototype, and my iPad. I arrived to discover the person I was going to meet was unable to meet me so their business partner filled in. It was no problem.

Keep in mind, these people approached me. The first question I asked was, so...do you know what my brand is all about? They said no, I’m sorry I wasn’t filled in. Immediately I was unimpressed, you would think in 2016, you would have the know how to GOOGLE someone, at least look at ones email signature to have a better idea of the person you are speaking to. I asked about what direction this client wanted to go...because it became clear to me this was a classic third party marketing/advertising firm. The second question I asked was tell me more about your company, not the company that is interested in hiring me. He explained to me that his firm was a marketing/advertising firm that focused on innovation. Coming up with creative solutions for clients, blah blah blah. The third question I asked was, tell me more about the CEO..with the response...”You know what I don’t remember his last name?” I immediately picked up that this was the classic...

Social Media Know It All — Marketing Firm. The firms who insist with NDA’s. (Non-Disclosure Agreements)

Which is so ironic because you preach innovation...but the core reasoning why technology thrives now is “open source”. Transparency. Isn’t it?

WHEN IS EVERYONE GOING TO WAKE AND REALIZE NO ONE OWNS IDEAS? NO ONE IS A GENIUS..ask Elizabeth Gilbert.

You know those firms; typically come from Generation X, usually in their early to mid 30’s. Had that realization that there were some Baby Boomers who financially succeeded in the late 90’s to mid 2000’s and now have corporate dollars to play with.

You know those Baby Boomer/Maturist ceo’s that run big corporations that have yet to get their company into the social media/app market because many of those in the exec level who come from that generation barely know how to use a smart phone, let alone check their email.

You know, so you have people of Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook generation having this epiphany during the late 2000’s to late 2010 that there is a way to capitalize off the app-market-boom, bitcoin-boom, wearable-tech-boom, now virtual-reality-boom and blah blah blah after the .COM boom. Boom.
It’s so sad, that this person was trying to tell me things that not only did I already know. I’ve probably done a better job at getting a client to say yes...

How? By figuring out what they want, not selling them something they don’t need. I remember the best advice I ever got with making closing a deal with a client was when a client wants something...don’t give them one option...give them 20. Work with the client, not at them.

There is no such thing as too many options, and the trick is to convince and manipulate them into thinking your ideas are their ideas. Leading them there with an intelligent argument.

So back to the story...

We were talking, and talking, and talking, and I sort just laid it all down...who I am, what my brand stands for, and how I’m trying to help the transgender community and help bring fashion and technology people together. And then...there was a moment where I noticed he was taking notes. He was taking notes on what I was talking about. The TED talk...”People don’t buy what you do they buy why you do it”, by economist Simon Sinek. He didn’t know what GLOWFORGE was...6 months ago they became the worlds biggest crowdfunded company with over 27 million dollars in preorders...the world’s most affordable desktop 3D printer in partnership with Google where all the processing power is done in the cloud which allowed them to make it under $2500. (A step toward true self-sustainability)

This person in front of me, is doing exactly what every TECH and MARKETING COMPANY in Toronto is doing.

No plan. No morals. No ethics. They are just trying to make money.

It’s so sad that Virtual Reality and Augmented Reality is about to boom, completely redefining what could be the future of how we interact and think about technology and all of these people are ONLY thinking about making money.

Barely... thinking about the power it could have on changing culture. Changing the way we think about Toronto, Technology, Fashion, Social Interaction, Design...to name a few.

It makes me sad, that I have to do this by myself. I have to be the one that screams INTEGRATION. The secret is working together! OPEN SOURCE NETWORK! TRANSPARENCY! GENDER EQUALITY! YOUTH! EDUCATION! CULTURE! SELF SUSTAINABILITY! AUTHENTICITY! INTEGRATION!
I’m so thankful to see companies like vTime, Cubicle Ninjas, Cerebrum, and the Transgender Community willing to at least engage and have a conversation.

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Please Fail. Please. Make your money with every boom in technology and then move aside so the rest of us can figure out the why.

Figure out the culture, the next culture.

Is Gender Identity A Choice?

So a lot of my friends and colleagues from the past are finding out about my transition lately and there seems to be a lot of confusion.

Confusion about how much of this is a choice and how much of this is not a choice?

My doctor is named Dr. Carys Massarella, one of Canada’s only transgender physicians. She runs a gender clinic in St. Catherines Ontario Canada. I love her model….her model is really transitioning based on a model of identity not based on a model of disorder. A model of consent. Most people don’t understand that today the system within Canadian Healthcare still sort of forces a Transgender or Gender Non-Conforming person to prove their identity by diagnosing one with a level of Gender Dysphoria or Displacement in order to be able to undergo HRT. Hormone Replacement Therapy.

Going to her, you’re explaining who you are and what you want to happen. WPATH. The World Professional Association for Transgender Health would probably call this Target Gender a new term used in medicine; which is when you allow a patient to transition based on what they feel and think is appropriate. That there is no strict guideline or process to be ‘fully transitioned.’

It’s hard to say what is a full transition. A lot of Cisgender individuals could view it as black and white. If you didn’t know what Cisgender means... it means that you do identify as the sex you were assigned at birth. Black you’re male and white you’re female and what a Neutrois like me are doing a half-transition?

Regardless usually the question I get is..

Why?

Asking someone WHY? Asking a transgender person WHY? Asking a Non-Binary person WHY? Usually comes with sensitivities. This is because the ignorance or the simple unawareness that another individual could ever not identify as the sex they were assigned at birth… comes with questions.

See.. immediately asking ‘why?’ forces a transgender or gender non-conforming person to justifying their…. identity, actions, behavior… etc. And this can become problematic.

Just the other day I received a question from a few cisgender friends of mine…”Well I’m very proud of you for being strong enough to do what you really want”…another message I received was…”I care about you and concerned. I am here if you need someone to listen to you or a shoulder to cry. Mental health can be challenging at times.”

The first comment was an implication that what’s happening to me is a choice and the second comment was an assumption that what I’m going through has something to do with mental illness. This is where things get complicated… as I was speaking to a friend of mine last night who is also non-binary… about thoughts versus ideas… and I mentioned “Well how much of transitioning and going on HRT is about..”

“..What feels like a choice and what doesn’t feel like a choice?”

I’m almost 3 months on Hormone Replacement Therapy and things have been getting intense. Socially intense. So intense I feel the need to make write a Medium post about it… you see… all I get are questions now asking me why am I doing this. Just because a lot of people around me are probably trying to figure out how this matters to them. What does this mean for them? What does this mean for me? In relation to them, why and how did I come to these conclusions about myself. Furthermore…it’s simply confusing for a lot of people.

I posted a Facebook status the other day… I said..

“If you actually understood what is happening to me, you would probably wish it was just about getting attention.”

A lot of people don’t know what Transhumanism is. I can explain to you what it’s NOT. No it’s NOT a theory, it’s NOT a conspiracy, and it’s NOT a type of person. It’s just a word. Google explains it as this…

Transhumanism (abbreviated as H+ or h+) is an international and intellectual movement that aims to transform the human condition by developing and creating widely available sophisticated technologies to greatly enhance human intellectual, physical, and psychological capacities. -wiki

The problem I have with the concept of Transhumanism is self identifying as a Transhumanist. Why? Because the reality is the no one really knows that Transhumanism looks like. This goes the same with wearable technology. No one really knows what wearable technology looks like. Slapping a bunch of computer chips on an arm band I don’t think… is wearable technology. At least its a start, but I really think it could be more than that. Transhumanism for me is very much a philosophy. A form of thinking. That’s it. There are many forms of transhumanist thinking. Concepts if you will…

Morphological Freedom is one of them.

Morphological Freedom refers to a proposed civil right of a person to either maintain or modify their own body, on their own terms, through informed, consensual recourse to, or refusal of, available therapeutic or enabling medical technology.[1]

The term may have been coined by transhumanist Max More in his 1993 article. - wiki

At this point you might be asking what does this have to do with being transgender or gender non-conforming? You see I think this simple concept is the solution to the issues we have in Canadian Healthcare in regards to transgender or non-binary individuals wishing to go on Hormone Replacement Therapy.

This idea simply says… we should all have the freedom to design our own body based on our own consent.

Transgender health has really been based on a model of disorder or dysphoria for decades up until now. Now we are heading into a model of identity where individuals simply explain clear signs of this identity. But if you think about it…what could solve all of this is a model based on consent.

Where ALL individuals should simply be given the freedom to design their own bodies at will. As Alex Pulec would put it… body building and plastic surgery is a form of body design… the freedom to go on birth control or have an abortion... these are all common practices of the 21st century that fall under an act of Morphological Freedom.

I will say I am fully aware of the hesitation and risks to giving people that kind of freedom ― almost the freedom to allow anyone to change their sex at will, the question really remains…

What is freedom?

...because if we all have the freedom of thought regardless of our bodies…does having an identity even matter at this point?

[UPDATE]

After reading this article that I wrote three months ago I think it was about time for it be released. I am on 6 months on HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) now and reading this article I think things have become even more clear..

I’ve come to understand that the person that ‘the self’ is always changing. The self makes up our identity and what you become is something we can’t really choose, but we choose the things that create the self. 

These things are the actions we take to fulfill what we want our minds to become. Going to the gym to get a 6 pack body. Eating cake because we enjoy it. Asking someone out on a date because we feel loved or understood by that individuals. I’ve come to understand that actions really do speak louder than words because it’s what we WANT and DO with our lives that create our identity.

Our identity is also rooted in genetics. I mean I don’t want to rant on about recent finding in EPIGENETICS (The study of how our actual genetics change throughout our lifetime based on environment and lifestyle choices) but the evidence that academic Juan Enriquez has discussed countless times show that the choices we make throughout our lives could possibly create mutations in our genes. Altering your genetics. Another thing to remember is that HRT does in fact change your ‘Gene Expression.’ Changing your actual ‘Genes’ (DNA) is a conversation about CRISPR and entirely new form of medical technology that I’ll have to save for another article.

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The point I want to make is that there is high probability that our upbringing, genetics AND the choices we make may be what is responsible for our identity let alone our gender identity. 

The word ‘identity’ is there really for the politics; for the human rights but if you think about it... it shouldn’t be necessary. This is why I think PRONOUNS are actually slightly more important than IDENTITIES now because if you think about it... it really shouldn’t matter if someone identifies as a tree and uses leaf pronouns. What matters should be respecting the name, the pronouns, the being of another individual when engaging with another individual. What matters should be what we can DO with our identity. It makes sense to me why all trans support groups I go to start the meeting with... What is your name? and What are you pronouns? I may not entirely know what I am, but I know what I am not. I’m still figuring things out but I have definitely concluded that more people need to make the distinction not just between Sex & Gender or Gender Identity & Gender Expression but being Transgender and the act of Transitioning. Not all Transgender individuals Transition. I think the hostility against the Trans/Non-Binary movement is really the stigma against those that don’t transition. Is it really that hard to grasp? Realizing you don’t identity as the sex you were assigned at birth is within itself the definition of Transgender. The act of this realization is a product of our thoughts not our actions. It makes sense to me now that realizing you are transgender is not a choice but the decision to undergo a social, medical or non-binary transition is quite possibly a choice.  

This might sound controversial, hey this might even sound transphobic but I really believe that one needs to make a distinction between the mind, the body, your consciousness and the choices you make. Which I know... is a whole other article within itself (cough cough) Neutral Monism.  

I’ll end this article with this... it really goes back to consent. It’s honestly that simple. It’s really not your choice what someone wants to be called. Respecting consent, the consent of an individual. Yes... respecting the individual. As I have written in other articles on how language is evolving, philosopher Alan Watts once said “Language is a bi-product of philosophy.” Language is the second result. We are first, we are the philosophy and pronouns, the language we use is a second result to who we are. The first thing we do when we engage with another person, is engage with language. Using our words and pronouns to connect with another individual. The third result are the actions and work produced to create society... Also known as real life. Real Life lives outside of our consciousness and comes after the communication.

Language is also limiting because not everyone can put to words how they feel, what they are thinking, why they like something. Not everyone can put to words what their identity is, but doesn’t everyone have the ability to respect each other?

Learning to respect someones name AND pronouns could possibly be the beginning to one day not needed them, not needing words. 

Not needing language, not needing identities.

Are You TRANSITION(ag)ING?

Before I transitioned I dated someone who by chance was someone who came from culture I was raised from.

This person was from Beijing and for most of my life I had engaged with individuals that were born and raised in Canada. This person made an impact on me.

One of the first conversations I had with this person was about how they didn’t believe in gender roles. I remember that exact sentence coming out of their mouth and vividly thinking to myself, how is this possible? My mother introduced us. Around the same time I was expressing my gender in how I few... a hyper feminine way. I was on the cusp of figuring out that I didn’t enjoy expressing myself as a woman but for whatever reason this person accepted me for it.

We had a very passionate relationship, imagine something out of the Notebook but set in 2002 Hong Kong with Britney Spears playing in the background. Another reason I say the Notebook is because we didn’t know why we liked each other, looking back at it now it was very physical. Sexually driven, might I say an... infatuation. There wasn’t a lot of understanding between us, probably because there might have been a language barrier. I don’t speak Mandarin, I speak Cantonese. ALSO because they were a self identified Christian Evangelist and I’m an Atheist/Nihilist. Yes. You heard it right. Contradiction I know. It was a very beautiful summer with them none the less. When I started shaving my head that’s when things probably got uncomfortable for them. (Which is how I express my gender as Non-Binary/Transgender) I mean we were also fighting about other things but this isn’t why I’m writing this.

There was a moment after we... made love. Whatever you want to call it.. intercourse, where we were lying in bed and my bangs (Because I had very long hair at the time) were messy and shifted to reveal my masculine wrinkles on my forehead. I’ve always had these two wrinkles that were given to me by my fathers genetics. I remember him looking into my eyes and he noticed my bangs. He immediately moved my hair back to the position of covering my forehead. Back to the shape of bangs. I don’t know what it was about that simple moment but... it was a red flag.

To this very day the person I still think back to isn’t my first love, it isn’t the love I left my first love for. It isn’t my love that I almost bought a house with, and it isn’t this being from Beijing. The person I think about is the person I spent the longest time with. We had lived together, bought a dog and cat together, fought countless times together, traveled together, it’s hard to forget someone who you dedicated over two and half years of your life to. You know? Whenever we were in bed and had messy hair that day. They would take their hands and brush the hair out of my face. I recall them saying “Why do you put your hair in front of your face? I want to see your eyes.”

I’m pretty sure I bickered and said something like, because I like my hair this way. It frames my face. It looks better this way.

What if the being from Beijing had only felt those things they felt for me because of how I looked at the time? Not for who I was, not for who I am.

Whether it’s true or not, I’ll never know.

Who am I? I’m still figuring that out, but I can tell you what I’m not. I’m not young anymore. I’m turning 26 this year and it dawned on me that the apocalypse isn’t going to be World War 3, it’s going to be Millennials waking up one day and realizing...you’re not young anymore.

TRANSITIONING from YOUTH. The realization that you can no longer hide behind those bangs, that hat, those clothes anymore. Slowly all Millennials will look into a mirror and see not just wrinkles but the wrinkling of your metabolism as you slowly become mushy couch potatoes. 26 —unemployed, In debt, chunks of lard playing Pokemon Go with beer on Friday nights. Saturday after Saturday with Pizza and #NETFLIXANDCHILL... soon they will become the thing they feared the most.

Old.

There is a science to why bangs make you look younger, you know that right? Human beings are drawn to symmetry. Symmetrical faces. The only reason we view old people as unattractive is because the wrinkles create an unbalanced appearance in the face. Framing your face with hair is our desperate attempt to turn back the clock.

Is it beauty we seek? or is really symmetry? OR what’s on the inside?

By the way,

I don’t have those wrinkles on my forehead anymore, well... they aren’t prominently visible anymore. Just another magic trick thanks to HRT. Hormone Replacement Therapy.

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Now it’s just a question of whether the love any of these beings had for me has also been replaced, replaced by longer bangs.

3 Ways Language Is Probably Evolving

I was about to go to bed but right as I was taking my shower this idea popped into my head, so I need to quickly write this down before I forget.

*Not Intended To Be Factual Statements.

Language is probably evolving and I can’t tell you the reasons, but I do have some questions. Gender, applications, and branding?

Starting off with the most obvious from my perspective. It’s probably not a surprise to a lot of people that the way gender is thought about and expressed is radically changing. There is plenty of evidence especially in the past 5 years to support the idea that Gender is not grounded in Biology. From the perspective of a lot of my Cisgender friends, I’ve come to notice that their perception of Gender is so much around the genitals or the biological sex that they were assigned at birth. Which you might be noticing by now, may not be how a lot of other people view it. In fact an article came out by JWT Intelligence a couple months ago highlighted the recent findings on Generation Z.

“The study is covered in depth in an article published yesterday by the Vice media title Broadly. VICE News As the article notes,

Fifty-six percent of 13-to-20-year-olds said that they knew someone who went by gender-neutral pronouns such as “they,” “them,” or “ze,” compared to 43 percent of people aged 28 to 34 years old.”

It’s clear that something is indeed happening with Gender. Something is happening between generations as close between Millenials and Generation Z. I recently did a video about Canadians and the importance of recognizing Generations.

If more young people are using They and Them instead of Him/His/She/Her pronouns and will continue to remove this concept of gender beyond the body, shouldn’t this change the way we speak? Adapting to the feelings and thoughts of those that do not consent to having a gender, gender being a possible social construction outside of biology. Is this not a sign of evolution?

This is where things might get tricky so bear with me while I try my best to explain my thoughts. Software applications, decade after decade have been not just improving our lives it has been providing Accessibility. Access to instantaneous connection with multiple people around the world through software applications like Facebook, Twitter, Skype. Providing us access to other cities; with automobiles, airplanes, which could all be considered a form of ‘hardware application’ next to simple things like automatic doors and robotic limbs for those with physical disabilities. Slight changes in language have happened in the past 20 years because of these changes. To ask someone to “Follow Me”, “Facebook Me”, “Hashtag Me”, “Subscribe!”... very basic social media terms but more significantly... commonly used terms in the world of the Internet.

Even asking someone if they ‘have’ a Reddit? Having a Reddit? Last time I checked Reddit wasn’t a physical thing in my house that you could own. It’s not a robot, that lives with me. You don’t own a Reddit. You have an account with Reddit.

But even having an ‘account’ on Reddit has been an evolution. In the old days, when I say the old days I mean even before World War One. The concept of banking dates back to even the 14th Century but I’m speaking more about the 1800s. The only real ‘account’ anyone had was at a bank. You had to do paperwork and have an exchange of money to have an account at a bank. Even up until the 90’s, having an ‘account’ meant being a part of some kind of institution where you paid money and you were receiving a service.

Reddit is free, and founded 10 years ago. May I remind all of you...the internet is basically only 45 years old. Four decades have passed since it’s invention, it’s birth.

Fast forward to 2016, there is even more to say about how the simplicity of a web or mobile application is changing the way we speak. So I was in the shower tonight and it crossed my mind, if this is true...then it’s already happening. What about the Hardware Applications of 3D Scanning? It’s clear that within the next few years 3D scanning will be in all of our phones. Should I even call it a phone anymore? If VR and AR are taking off right now, it’s clear that there will need to be better access for everyday people to develop content for it.

Most people don’t know what Structure Sensor is but they took off on Crowd Funding website Kickstarter only a couple years ago. Structure Sensor is a device you can put on most iPads. Because of iPad’s 64-bit processor, the device (Which is basically a laser depth sensor from Xbox) is small enough to be powered by an iPad. This fantastic piece of hardware can work simultaneously with the software on a mobile device, a computer, and the internet.

You have to understand this a mind blowing human achievement to me. Less than 5 years ago, it would have taken multiple cameras and hours of rendering on a computer with a fairly expensive graphics card to be able to process a 3D rendering done from a scan. With Structure Sensor you have the ability to do a 3D scan in less than a minute, that is high quality which can be emailed to anyone instantly all under $400. Accessibility.

All the integrations done at Fleecer have been done using a Structure Sensor. All the materials enhancements were actually done on Sketchfab. (So I don’t even need to post-process the files anywhere else!) Sketchfab is a website you can upload OBJ files and many kinds of other files on top of 360 photos or environments to be able to be rendered and viewed easily on; a website, mobile device, and even on a VR (Virtual Reality) headset.

See what I did just there? I said INTEGRATIONS, not 3D scans. See, it’s going to be common practice eventually so someone’s got to come up with a handy word to use when we all start 3D scanning. Eventually.

I’m not even thinking about capitalizing or profiting off this realization. It’s probably because I believe VR and AR have the ability to improve the way we view economics and move us towards a future of self-sustainability but that’s another article.

This is a good segway into the last way I think language is evolving.

You see...integrations isn’t a company. It’s not a brand. It’s a verb not a noun. Facebook became a verb because it became a service and a company that became a necessity. It became its own grid. It’s own mainstream. It became a way of life. Social Media became a way of life but as you know there are many different types of Social Media. There are many different ways to access to the internet now, access other people on the internet. All of these internet platforms now can be both accessed using a website and/or mobile application. Everything is becoming integrated.

Google, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Medium, Reddit, Imgur..to name a few. All of these platforms are ways or VERBS to connect with each other through content. They are also companies AND they are also BRANDS.

A friend of mine and I were chatting the other day about the current state of fashion, the current state of culture. Her name is Golnaz Ashtiani. Another beautiful mind; designer and composer of bodies, composer of clothing.

Her and I were talking about how not only are trends dying. Trends in Fashion, and the concept of Trends...something else is evolving. She calls it, Micro Cultures. Sound familiar? Micro Blogging of the early 2010’s. A couple years ago it was about being an individual; doing what you want, and it got messy. Everyone was just experimenting. Now there are mini cultures. Mini communities. She spoke about a designer in the UK that started a brand that is geared at selling conventionally viewed ‘ugly’ clothing. You have other brands that only sell t-shirts with cats on them and brands geared for; hiking, yoga, knitting, reading, vegans, LGBT, ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS BECOMING A BRAND. This is probably happening because technology is now allowing us this accessibility and convenience to do so. What’s happening is quite beautiful if you think about it.

A couple years ago it was more about me and now things are slowly becoming about..

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...us.

But the interesting thing about our conversation was that we don’t need a business card anymore. We are both designers, and when someone asks us where to find our work, how to look us up? We respond with our handle...what’s your handle?

Handle is a word now used to describe the name you go by or avatar you go by on a certain platform like Twitter, or Instagram. The funny thing is that I would also ask someone else for their handle if I wanted to find out more information on their work. The @____ tends to be how a handle is presented on any platform.

Naz and I were saying that, it makes sense that in the future no one needs a brand. Just a ‘handle’. That handle can be anything you want, it doesn’t have to be you. In fact someone can have multiple handles, maybe they have multiple Instagram accounts. It also makes sense that; Virtual Reality, Augmented Reality, App Developers and Programmers are going to need the help of Fashion Designers. We understand textiles, we understand materials, we understand culture. The bodies that exist in these different cultures and what our bodies need to exist in these cultures. VR/AR environments, simulations, games are all simply made out of object/audio files and material files. Eventually technology and fashion designers will need to come together and help each other create more immersive, relatable, and culture based VR/AR experiences. Better UX. User Experiences. VR Experiences. Virtual Reality Simulations; etc. Wink Wink Cubicle Ninjas, vTime, and Cerevrum.

Back to language, the concept of branding is dying simply because technology is creating the kind of accessibility where we don’t need it anymore. BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN BE A BRAND NOW. You can communicate directly with the designer, the creator through social media. The future really is third party applications. You have me you have you and you have the application.

One, Two, Three, Simple as that.

Or maybe this future doesn’t exist, because it already exist. Maybe we just need to look harder, from a different perspective.

If the ‘handle’ will destroy the concept of a brand...then what is next? I started this article about language, and then I spoke about the advances in technology of hardware and software and it’s applications in real life. I spoke about Branding. I like to think soon everything will be a verb not a noun. Where we have moved past innovation. Where every innovation isn’t started by a company or a brand. Where integration happens; everything and everyone comes together. Something new is born where things aren’t based on traditions or sociology; we’re here just to exist, explore, and design a better world.

I’ll be honest, I’m still figuring out what this ‘something new’ is.

This is where I want to end this article, with live streaming video. I have written in a past article about my rationale for having a live stream of my home on Fleecer. Tonight someone I’ve never met sent me this...

It was of link to their own ‘livefeed’ and then...it hit me... this is the next ‘handle’. For if a click of a button; you can send me the who, what, why, where, how, of your existence and instantly connect?

Isn’t it finally happening? Isn’t this more than language evolving?

Tomorrow, will you send me your handle.. your feed, your existence?

You Can’t Really Say LGBT Anymore

It has been a really bumpy few months. Coming out transgender and then meeting and learning to understand transgender community in Canada has really made me understand how great things are and how much work there still needs to be done.

Being Gender Non-Conforming... I have learned that there are a lot of Non-Binary people that do not identify as Transgender. Even though the most wildly accepted definition of Transgender, “one that does not identify as the sex they were assigned at birth,” new questions have risen.

It complicates things. You’re probably thinking... great... another article another political piece stating that there is even more complexity in an issue that we know is already complex. No seriously though, there is war now. There is a war happening right now and it’s invisible among those in the queer community.

Pride is this week and I’ve found a common pattern among Non-Binary individuals. Pride is “too commercial”, “too cis normative”, “not inclusive of transgender people let alone non-binary people.” “PRIDE IS JUST A PARTY.”

Remembering back to when my father used to ask me in high school, Adrian why do they have PRIDE? There isn’t a STRAIGHT PRIDE, why do you need a GAY PRIDE? Most people believe it or not still don’t know that PRIDE started as a political movement to fight the oppression and human rights of LGBT individuals between the 1960-1990’s and so forth.

It’s 2016 now and a lot has changed. I know I don’t have to go into it, but I’ll tell you what I have to go into.

LGBT & OPRESSION

Here is the reality whether you believe in it or not.

Whether you agree or not, it’s not really politically correct anymore to refer to the QUEER community as LGBT.

You see... when you say LGBT now you completely leave out those that are Gender Non-Conforming. You also leave them out whenever you say brother and sisters of the LGBT Community. I know it’s not easy to hear if you’re born before 1995. Yes I said it, so prepared to feel old. A recent study came out a couple of months ago where the evidence now shows that more than 50% of Generation Z know someone that uses they/them pronouns. On the bright side for you if you’re a Millenial, Gen X, Boomer, or Maturist... QUEER individual... more than 50% of Generation Z identify as QUEER.

So there are pros and cons to this possibly controversial study, depending on who you’re speaking to.

Misgendering is something that happens in Transgender Community all the time, it’s the most common form of passive Transphobia that can happen on a daily basis. The discussion between Gender Identity and Gender Expression has become a large explanation for the existence of the Gender Non-Conforming community but again, I want to clarify I cannot speak for the greater population, or any group of people.

Genderbread. Look it up.

Logically it makes complete sense, just because someone presents themselves as masculine doesn’t make them a male and vice versa. Just because someone’s Gender Expression appears to be masculine you shouldn’t assume their Gender Identity.

Gender Non-Conforming people have been left out of the discussion for a very long time simply because people didn’t know they could be Non-Binary until now. But the reality is that Gender is a Spectrum and Male and Female are not the only Gender Identities. Facebook added 50 Gender Identity Options a few years ago.

Misgendering someone typically involves misusing someone pronouns. Someone like myself uses they/them pronouns. I use they/them pronouns because my gender identity is neither male or female. I find they/them most convenient, I’m not going to go into the they/them debate. You use they/them singular all the time, so move on.

The most polite and least intrusive way to approach any Transgender or Gender Non-Conforming person is to ask...

What pronouns do you use?

It’s that simple.

That person may respond with he/she/they/them/zhe and it’s best to respect that persons pronouns if you still want them to stick around.

LGBTQIA+ or LGBTQ+

I’m sure you’ve seen this and I know it’s not easy to grasp.

Whether you identify as QUEER or NOTHING...I’ve concluded to some degree that it makes sense that we really just need to get to a point where it really is more about the PRONOUNS and not the IDENTITY. A Pronoun according to GOOGLE is a word that can function by itself as a noun phrase and that refers either to the participants in the discourse (e.g., I, you ) or to someone or something mentioned elsewhere in the discourse (e.g., she,it, this ) . It should be more about our interactions with people on a daily basis and not about what we identify as. We should instead, be judged by what we can do with out identities, what we do with our minds and bodies. Getting to a place where we can learn to respect each other and gradually coming to accept that language is evolving. One day...looking at life more as verb, not a noun.

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Life is something we do, not something we are. Aren’t we hear more than to just exist, aren’t we really here to communicate with each other?

Participants in discourse. Participating in life together?

Explaining a Non-Binary Transition

I guess that will be the challenge for Neutrois, the battle for acceptance.

Neutrois are in some ways humans who wish to remove the biology of gender from themselves and the battle is being accepted for detaching themselves from being human but still crave being loved as a person.


“I guess that will be the challenge for Neutrois, the battle for acceptance.”

A person with a body who was for whatever reason born into a body they didn’t choose to identify with. And it’s not that we don’t love ourselves, we do. Neutrois can be considered Agender, Transgender, Non-Binary, Gender Non-Conforming, and we do love ourselves. We design our faces and our bodies a certain way, choose our clothing, and make ourselves feel attractive just like any other person in the morning. We look at the world from a binary perspective, where things can look too feminine or too masculine and it’s a challenge everyday to fit into these roles and constructs whether sociological or biological it’s a challenge to see ourselves in this time period.

Maybe for a handful of us it’s not important whether or not we are attractive, because we aren’t interested in passing. Passing can mean different things, passing a test, passing food, passing as a good doctor, passing as an successful entertainer, passing as an artist, passing as a understanding lover, passing as a hot gay man, passing as a sexy lesbian, passing as a loving husband, or passing as a nurturing mother. Passing or not, what all Neutrois have in common is that we are more interested in being understood than being adored or admired. And the act of understanding simply requires communication not accessorizing. Making people earn their understanding of you through, questions and discussions not sexual intercourse and courtship.


“What all Neutrois have in common is that we are more interested in being understood than being adored or admired.”

You see, most people don’t know what cis means. Being Cisgender means that you do identify as the sex you were assigned at birth, and being Transgender means that you don’t identify as the sex you were assigned at birth. Based on these basic definitions, you can see that one can be defined as a cis gay men, cis gay women, cis straight men, cis straight women, and vice versa with transgender. Neutrois literally translates in french as ‘third gender.’ In a world that still defines beauty based on historical and conventional constructs of beauty: I think its safe to say todays generation of women and men are not the only victims of pressure to uphold or maintain a certain physical appearance. I know I can’t speak for all neutrois and gender non-conforming people, but we are people. We can’t exactly explain why this is happening now, or exactly why we are who we are, or why some of us medically transition, because our life is just as much as a process as yours is and in an ideal world we wouldn’t have to call ourselves Neutrois. In fact, in an ideal world we wouldn’t have to have any labels to justify our actions. I call myself neutrois also because this country still treats being transgender like a mental illness. To get the medicine or surgery I need in order to balance myself out there is an approval process and medical protocols I need to go through and therefore I constantly need to justify why I am the way that I am.

I like the word Neutrois because it makes things easier for people to understand when talking about Non-Binary Transitioning as I am MTN. Male to Neutrois. Micah, who started Neutrois.com a resource for non-binary people, talks a lot about home. For them, transitioning is about getting to a place where you don’t think about your gender everyday, you don’t need to check yourself at the stop light, you don’t need to check yourself in the store reflection, you don’t need to check whether or not you’re too male, or too female. Getting to a place where you feel at home in your body. I think the challenge stems from a fear of something new.

You see human civilization has only been around for about 6000 years on planet that is 4.5 billion years old. The word Neutrois was not coined until 1995 which is only about 20 years ago and the Gender Non Conforming Identity was not acknowledged by WPATH the World Professional Association for Transgender Health until 2011. It is 2016 today. I can admit that Neutrois is a new idea. But I can’t admit I understand why it entirely makes sense for me that I need to transition, take hormones, remove my sex organs, or why now and not before. For me this is less about being attractive, and more about being balanced. It’s easy for me to grow my hair out, work out, eat less, wear make up or wear a hat to make myself more appealing to people, to be more sexual attractive. As the years go by, It’s becoming more apparent that being sexually attractive is not as important to me when love is about the connection between two minds. Furthermore, connection shouldn’t be about making yourself appealing but rather maintaining the discovery between two minds.

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“For me this is less about being attractive, and more about being balanced.”

Maybe after all of this I’ll realize it’s not even about being accepted among people or loving yourself but simply surviving. Surviving without gender, without a body, without validation, without acceptance, without understanding, maybe even without love. Survival.

This post is part of HuffPost’s Journey Beyond the Binary blog series, an editorial effort to bring diverse trans and gender non-conforming voices to the HuffPost Blog during and after Pride month. As the LGBTQIA community celebrates great strides forward this June, it’s important to acknowledge the struggles still pertinent to trans and gender variant members of the community. Please email any pitches to beyondbinary@huffingtonpost.com